Depression Dementia Dad

[Former-Member]

Wo, few things happening for you there @outlander. Cars are very expensive to maintain, “a liability” my late uncle use to say. If ya can do without one - ya better off.
Sleep well tonight O 🌸💕

[outlander]

Goodnight lovely @Former-Member 💖 💙 💛

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

There are websites that give grey nomads info as to places and amenities - if you google " free camping Australia" you will find info such as this - let's you know toilets/showers/water/dogs here is an example:

http://www.freecampingaustralia.com.au/free-camps/new-south-wales/gum-bend-lake.html

[Former-Member]

I don no, can’t get my head around anything anymore

[Former-Member]

Empty spaces

 @outlander @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope

missing yas
Not being a ‘carer’ anymore is like a divorce

- everything changes.

Oh well, probably for the best they say, since I’m, how did sis put it -

so “emotionally unstable”

and of cause she would know, being such a mess herself and refuses to have a conversation with me more than 6yrs. How’s that for insight!

whatever,

Glad Public Guardian & Trustee could see through sis peacocking to get Financial Management, and refused her that. Refused mainly because she shuts out family members / refuses to keep family informed!...

Yep, Very sad we can’t ‘get along’. Think Dad might prefer ‘family’ to manage his affairs, but not one of his six kids cope with life, in different ways, and we’ve never been good enough for him, especially his sons, so, perhaps being here was about me learning something (for a while) and Perhaps dad deserves to be cared for by strangers / the state.

With me closing off my Queensland asset / resource / option... 

which im not sure was a good idea (accept I’m now debt free) i sure feel lost

But I was thinking too -

This could be his OWN legacy / dads,

something  between him & God.

I did my best

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

We do the best we can with the resources we have available to us at the time. 

Are you able to accesd some psychological support to help in this transition phase?

 Still here for you. 

[Shaz51]

sitting with you @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

I have a psychologist who just agrees I need to prioritise getting my own place and build some self esteem. Next visit in 4wks. She’s disappointed dad doesn’t have family in charge as most would prefer but can’t see what more I could have done.

ive submitted dad’s Accommodation Proposal as they’ll make a decision this week if to make him a ‘permanent’ Aged Care resident, against his life long wishes - to die in a nursing home :(. I can’t afford to care either way anymore. 

[Former-Member]

Woke up crying today, at the thought of having to converse with public guardian who actually tried to ring me yesterday (missed calls from private number), they left msg to ring them. All their ignoring me this past three months accep the once to stop me bringing dad home 😞  Now they wanna talk, after x10wks,

- I HATE THEM!

- PUBLIC GUARDIAN IS NOT NECESSARY IN THIS CASE (it will be for me)

- THERES NOTHING LEFT TO SAY

If I have not mattered to them all this time, then why now? I’m so angry with them for treating me like a criminal because of lying toxic siblings. Oh dear, I’m ANGRY now. @Owlunar doesn’t talk with me anymore or @outlander and I worry you all believe the lies too

While caring for dad it gave me a purpose and got me up and running, in a role I did professionally for 40yrs, and it energised me and made me feel good about myself - because I was good at it. Even with no support. The toxic sibs made it unnecessarily stressful, but I managed somehow. But now, now it’s 

D E A T H  all over and I’m goin downhill fast. 

And I don’t know what to do anymore, fight for dad or let it go, and let life go. I don’t know what to do, how to converse with a stranger calling the shots for dad, it’s well it’s wrong.

and what’s the point trying to explain when I’ve told you all my darkest thoughts, you don’t see me either

its bleak 

@Appleblossom understands I think,  being treated like a ‘nut job’ and now a ‘criminal’. I’m over it.

What

how do I move fed. 

Oh that’s right, psych says I gotta move house

excuse me while I pull some wasted energy out of my bum

[outlander]

Oh @Former-Member
Ive been offline for a few days cause of a horse show. I got back late sunday and was pretty wiped out yesterday. I can assure you i still very much care about you and my not being here hasnt got anything to do with my dislike.
Im still catching up on some of my tags from the past few days. .

Just because your not a carer anymore doesnt make me think any less of you. I cant imagine how hard it is for you having to deal with everything your going through when you barely have supports.. well i kinda have an idea cause im in the same boat but different to whats happening for you.

Im not sure if your psych is the right one for you, they really should be listening to your concerns and no matter how much you bring it up they should still continue to listen and not say 'you couldn't have done anymore, find a new house and build self esteem' i cant see how you can build up self esteem when no ones listening to you or helping you actually work through your emotions.
Do you think it may be worth a change and see if that helps? Before i go to other psychs sometimes i arrange a phone apt with them and talk abit and see if they are a good fit or have a shorter appt and discuss whether they are the right one for me ( ive also had a few say they arent the right ones and suggested others more suited)