5 Day Online Event! You Are Not Alone - Crisis Advice for Family, Friends & Carers

[Former-Member]

@NatureLover it is very difficult to entrust someone to be a support person for you, I know for a long time I was not providing appropriate support for mental health.  Being a middle age married couple makes a lot of difference as you know each other intimately (yikes ... did I just call myself middle aged??? By intimately I mean a detailed knowledge of a person). 

The support I give to friends with mental health issues includes regular catch ups (usually fixed day/interval - ie weekly or fortnightly coffee, garden centre visit or other enjoyable activity) and sending funny texts to a number of acquaintances, some of whom Mr Darcy met as an inpatient. Having a regular time is helpful as it gives us both something to look forward to but also helps with boundaries. I do not bring up their mental health and will only discuss it if they want to. Apart from encouraging them to speak openly to treating team/therapist I tend not to get involved with anything relating to treatment as I have very strong opinions based on our experiences.  

@Maggie We have a number of people at our new church and on the cusp of it with mental health diagnoses. I would love to do something to help them but have not come up with anything that I feel comfortable with and do not want to reinvent the wheel or clash with other services that are available in our regional town. 

[Former-Member]

Slow is most definitely still moving, I very much relate to that line @Maggie Thank you for sharing, I think you would be wonderful at coordinating a support group 

[Former-Member]

@NatureLover Amazing how the power of talk therapy has shaped things for you, so happy to hear you finally found a road to talk therapy. It can be tricky when there are inter-personal values around psychology, such as our parents/friends/family's view. Props to you for engaging in help and exploring all options. 

[Former-Member]

Wow @Former-Member Thank you so very much for sharing this. There's so much power and insight in your post here, I am keen to see how many other people relate to some of the experiences you have both had. "I began to understand that unless a suitable therapeutic alliance was there, therapy for Mr Darcy" Absolutely. This is key to recovery, having trusted rapport with your practitioner, otherwise not much recovery work can get done. I also really loved your reflection as to how the two of you now work as a team. Thanks so much for sharing @Former-Member 

[Shaz51]

I also really loved your reflection as to how the two of you now work as a team. --, me too @Former-Member 

but

I have a question about  that as my mr shaz seems to sometimes  fight against working together , like he wants to do things his way and when he wants to 

he won`t tell me or talk to me about it , and he expects me to ammm know and follow @Former-Member 

( I ask him but he just says nothing )

[Shaz51]

hello and Hugs @Mags , @Catastic 

[NatureLover]

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@Former-Member wrote:

@NatureLover Amazing how the power of talk therapy has shaped things for you, so happy to hear you finally found a road to talk therapy. It can be tricky when there are inter-personal values around psychology, such as our parents/friends/family's view. Props to you for engaging in help and exploring all options. 

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Thanks @Former-Member 🙂

I found the Conversation Starters, under "Identifying Your Own Support"  in the YANA resource useful – I had never thought of asking my suicidal friend these questions in real life. Especially, “What support do you need from me?", and "What's OK to ask?".

[Shaz51]

The person needing mental health care support needs to choose for themselves to engage professional help. You can’t force them. Trying to might actually make them less likely to accept help. However, you can continue to gently remind them how extra support will help.

this is very true @NatureLover , @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Maggie , @Former-Member 

just to support, encourage, be with them , mr shaz also wanted me to be with him

[NatureLover]

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@Former-Member wrote:

@NatureLover it is very difficult to entrust someone to be a support person for you...

Apart from encouraging them to speak openly to treating team/therapist I tend not to get involved with anything relating to treatment as I have very strong opinions based on our experiences.  

This seems wise, thank you for sharing. @Former-Member 

Unfortunately my suicidal friend won't allow much...so mainly I just listen now. I have suggested some things in the past (over many years) that have just annoyed them. But some of the questions above in the YANA resource sound good, so I will be trying them...

[Shaz51]

hello @Nikki44 , @frog , @Blackie , @mkd 

how are you today xx